It’s been a
busy challenging few months. I haven’t written anything for this blog since December and truth be told, I’ve been feeling less than inspired to write in general. I’m coming to the end of my master’s degree and starting over putting the finishing touches on my thesis. In any case, change is in the air for me again and it feels like I have a million and one things to do.
Moments of transition are complicated. I feel like I’m in this liminal space — tying up a multitude of loose ends while taking steps to arrive at an uncertain future. Where do you start when you prefer to focus on one thing at a time? I would have preferred to finish my master’s, then update my online presence, then ramp up the freelance work. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way!
In any case, here’s a silly piece to get me back in the groove – a list of some of the things I’ve been doing besides writing on my blog:
1. Writing and re-writing my thesis.
2. Worrying about my thesis.
3. Doing literature reviews for my thesis.
4. Trying to remember high school geometry so I can write the GRE.
5. Realizing that I actually don’t know what ‘inimical’ means. (And it’s not, ‘cannot be imitated’)
6. Or what ‘dirge’ means.
7. Waiting for my investments in marijuana stocks to rise.
8. Realizing that I got my last funding cheque in January and there are no more coming.
9. Applying for jobs.
10. Trying to get freelance work.
11. Deciding whether to get a job or go back to freelance.
12. Planning a trip to Montreal with Tom.
13. Writing conference papers.
14. Arranging my trip to Ottawa for a conference.
15. Worrying about not being ready for my conference.
16. Realizing that the conference is three weeks away and I have nothing prepared.
17. Adjusting to Tom having a ‘real’ job with ‘real’ responsibilities.
18. Transferring my domain and website hosting.
19. Worrying that I’m not writing enough.
20. Worrying that I’m not reading enough.
22. Watching Grey’s Anatomy.
23. Watching Prison Break.
24. Trying to understand why Prison Break has been resurrected.
26. Deleting Facebook activity.
27. Removing old, useless, unnecessary accounts to reduce my online footprint. (Honestly, why do so many websites have my address?!)
28. Thinking about travelling.
29. Not travelling.
– pause for a photo –
32. Not going to sleep.
33. Crying over sentences that refuse to make sense.
34. Presenting my research.
35. Realizing that my research makes no sense and I have made a grave error.
36. Doubling down on that error and arguing that I’m “pushing boundaries”.
37. Getting the flu.
38. Recovering from the flu.
39. Getting migraines.
40. Trying to figure out why I’m getting migraines.
41. Spending too much money on food.
42. Going to ballet class.
43. Discussing how to “close the distance” with Tom.
44. Binge-watching Greenleaf.
45. Acquiring active knowledge of the new slang the kiddies are using.
46. Reading, so that I may stay woke.
47. Practicing German, Spanish, and French on Duolingo because, indecision.
48. Going to the gym.
49. Updating my Goodreads.
Wine. Rum and pineapple juice.
51. Cooking mushroom burgers.
52. Denying myself meat.
53. Trying to understand why I simultaneously want meat but find the idea of it repulsive.
54. Watching Say Yes to the Dress.
55. Getting way too invested in television shows.
56. Making it to the payment page for a flight and then backing out.
57. Buying a one-way flight to London. (Wait, what?!)
58. Planning the next year of my life.
59. Realizing life never goes to plan.
60. Writing proposal drafts for PhD applications.
– pause for a photo –
61. Having an existential crisis.
62. Doing video calls with Tom because he has an iPhone now.
63. Updating my LinkedIn.
64. Realizing I can’t have a coherent CV because I don’t know what I want.
65. Deciding what I want.
66. Debating whether or not to buy a new phone.
67. Deciding ultimately to not buy a new phone because I don’t even have a cell phone plan.
68. Seeing my friends.
69. Avoiding human interaction.
70. Drinking too much coffee.
71. Making flash cards with vocabulary and math formulas.
72. Asking myself why I’m doing this to myself.
73. Avoiding asking myself too many questions.
75. Feeling like I’ve fallen behind in digital trends.
76. Seeing that things haven’t changed that much.
77. Watching my cousin’s theatrical plays.
78. Going to physiotherapy because I’ve had back pain for 5 years.
79. Thinking about what I should do with my life.
80. Having an emotional breakdown about my thesis.
81. Pulling myself together and handing in my thesis.
82. Avoiding a certain office.
83. Working on the couch.
85. Learning how to braid my hair with extensions. (Thank you, YouTube!)
86. Thinking about Jamaica.
87. Psyching myself up to write that ebook I’ve been meaning to write.
88. Feeling overwhelmed with all the disparate things I have to do in the coming months.
89. Not knowing where to start.
90. Hiding from our Airbnb guests.
– pause for a photo –
91. Going out for drinks with friends.
92. Not drinking with them.
94. Avoiding responsibilities.
95. Getting rejections for jobs.
96. Getting freelance gigs.
97. Realizing the term ‘when it rains, it pours’ doesn’t have to be negative.
98. Making lists of the things I need to do to get my website up-to-date and start marketing my services.
99. Realizing that I still need to defend my thesis, apply for visas, and do a bunch of other stuff before I can book flights and do the above things.
100. Trying to take things one day at a time.