Attends-Toi à l’Inattendu – Birthday Surprise!

Attends-toi à l’inattendu – Expect the unexpected

There is nothing like a surprise party to make you feel really stupid, crush your dreams, and scare the hell out of you. All while making you feel really loved.

Let me explain… I’m not big on birthdays. Celebrations, in general. I have no idea why. A couple weeks ago was my birthday and my plan was to go see a Corneille concert. However, unwilling to spend 45€ on a general admission ticket and unsure as to whether I could drag anyone with me, I decided not to. I’d show my appreciation for another year of life by going to the gym* and enjoying a nice meal. Which I did, cooked by yours truly. I set food on fire with rum, which was way more exciting than anything else I did that day. I’m smiling to myself as I write that.

Anyways. The morning of the day of my birth, my roommate**, Eila, and her manfriend, Philippe, arrived at our abode. We were supposed to go out the night before, but we were all tired. Philippe then said, “So we’re going to celebrate your birthday tomorrow!?” I told him my birthday is today, but sure, we can go out tomorrow. Later that night, I got a call from my friend Danny. He told me he was sorry he was going to miss my birthday tomorrow. I was confused. “That’s okay,” I said, “I have nothing planned anyway”. He said to give him a call later if I was going for a drink or something.

The next morning, the neighbour came by and told me Eila had to come pick up a cake. I didn’t really understand, but I got “Eila…cake…ready…” I told her about it when she got home. That afternoon, my partner took me to Ste Anne to pick up and drop off some stuff. We left at 2 and my intention was to return home around 5 to eat and nap. He did not let this happen. We sat here, got a drink there, watched people capture crabs, walked around…

By 8PM, he had ignored three of my requests to go home. Hungry, irritated and jonesing for a nap (not a good combination in Alyssaville), I was thinking “If this (expletive) doesn’t take me home RIGHT NOW I will (insert violent crime here). AND WHO IS HE TEXTING SO MUCH WE HAVE NO PLANS TONIGHT”.

Can you now see why I felt like a complete idiot when everyone jumped out and yelled “Surprise!” ? Okay, good. Also, it’s always been my dream to be a spy. Like on Alias. One surprise party and my dreams are in the toilet. Never could have surprised Jennifer Garner like that. Honestly though, the only thing out of the ordinary was the fact that he was texting so much. Philippe and Danny often say random stuff, my partner often wants to do random crap, and Eila often eats random desserts.

Even with all these failures, I’m pretty sure after everyone jumped out I stood there for at least 5 seconds with my hand on my head trying to process what was going on. People. Food. Rum. Yesterday was day of birth. Oh. Surprise party! (I’m scared–> I’m confused–> I’m a moron –> I’m happy). All this for me!? So sweet.

My favourite people were there (save for Danny), the food was great, and the CAKE WAS DELECTABLE. I should also add about the cake that it was ALSO a surprise when Eila brought it out with candles on it. It was more than I could have hoped for and I had a great time. We ate, we chatted, we went to a sex club, and then called it a night.

Oh, did you like how I threw in that sex club thing like it was no big deal? Yep. In Marin, there is a hidden yet out in the open club in which people have sex. The father of one of Eila’s students owns it, so we stopped in, someone had beer, danced, tried not to touch things, and then got a tour of the place. There’s a jacuzzi. Siiiiiick!

Honestly, I haven’t had a birthday celebration like this…well, ever. The best things in life are always unexpected…because you had no expectations. I think Surprise Party 2012 will always bring a smile to my face.

• I hit a new chin up record. Best birthday present to myself ever.

**Sidenote: I moved! Secretly living in Marin now, sharing a bed and hiding from the landlady. In exchange, I get consistent human contact and really cheap rent.